


What is left in the absence

by DarkxKirlia



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, Dark Dany, F/M, Resurrection, This is tagged as Jonerys, angsty, but maybe don't read it if you love jonerys, disjointed dialogue, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkxKirlia/pseuds/DarkxKirlia
Summary: Daenerys is brought back to life.There is a cost.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen
Comments: 35
Kudos: 39





	What is left in the absence

**Author's Note:**

> I'm SUPPOSED to be finishing up my Tomione one-shot, but this little nugget came into my mind after watching makeup TikTok too much. This fic was originally inspired by the song 'you broke me first' by Tate Mcrae, but it definitely kind of spiraled away from that a bit. 
> 
> Dark Dany, but also I hope sympathetic. 
> 
> Thoughts and dialogue is purposely disjointed and vague. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: I don't give a single .0001% of a fuck what your opinion is on Daenerys, but don't come into my comments bickering. It's disrespectful and rude. I post my stories to share my creativity, thoughts, and ideas, and to gain feedback and insight INTO MY WRITING. If you want to come into my comments section and tell me all the things I did wrong in my writing and point out every flaw, sure go off, but don't come in here fighting about something that doesn't have to do with the story. I don't care if you think Daenerys is evil. I don't care if you think Jon is amazing. Your opinion on the topic was not asked for. If you would like to have your opinion validated or shit on, please turn your attention to tumblr. I promise, someone there would love to ruin your day.

Jon. 

_Jon._

A name. A face. A body, pale, dark eyes, black hair, pink lips. 

_Rage._

Dany understood now, the echoes in her dreams, the words that created a vibrational effect in her skull, echoing, echoing, enraging…

_Burn them._

_Burn them all._

She wanted to be made of air; breathing life into hungry lungs, drying the tears at crystalline eyes. She wanted to craft her bones from clay and earth, press her fingernails into the dirt and watch as crops sprouted from the soil, fed empty bellies, and gave shade in a wasteland. She wanted to be water; the first drop of liquid on a dying man’s lips, his skin covered in the sand of the red waste. She wanted to be a cool spring in an unforgiving desert.

 _She didn’t want to find a home, she wanted to be the home._ She hadn’t wanted to burn, no, never burn. Fire may have been her heritage, but did it have to be her destiny? 

_Yes._ This world was selfish. Arrogant. Entitled. She gave, and gave, and gave...became the first breath of air in a babe’s crying mouth, the first bite of an apple after a harsh drought, and the cleansing water that washed away the blood and dirt that had soiled them for years. She gave, and gave, and gave…

Until all that was left was fire. And then they took that too. 

He took it. 

He stole what she gave, took the breath she’d given others, spilled her blood on the frozen floor, let her body become a lifeless husk. Left her last living child alone in the world, the last dragon… Alone. Lonely. No one to fly with or hunt with. 

Or that would have been the case. _Drogon…_ Her sweet boy. Her eldest, her fiercest, most loyal, the only being in this world deserving of her love and loyalty. The only one she could trust. 

Drogon saw what they took, saw the lifeless thing they had left after sucking her dry of life, and he gave. He gave, and he took a bit too, took some the hurt, some of the human, some of the rage. 

And he gave her fire, like the one she birthed him in once long ago. He gave her scales to block their steel, wings to soar in the air beside him. And he gave her a little wild too. A little danger. A little magic of her own. 

She had nothing but fire left to give now, but for once she was okay with that. She no longer believed them worthy of the life she had to give. 

“Dany please,” Dany. _Dany._ She’d heard that plea before, in a different voice, but with just as much fear and deference. Heard it cried out as that silly boy realized he was never a dragon, just a salamander, just...nothing. A spark of insanity that never had the chance to become a wildfire. And he pleaded for his life, from her, from the one whose life he had taken of, taken when she was just a child, a child with no one but him, no one… 

She had mourned that one's death. Oh yes, she’d still been filled with life then. Still had so much hope that she could be more than rage, chaos, and burning. 

She would not mourn this one. This...Jon. Jon, whom she had loved. He had not been the first to take from her, had not been the greediest or the cruelest, but he had been the last. And his taking had hurt the worst. Not the blade, no, the blade was...swift, sweet, nearly painless. She had not had scales to protect her then, and she had bled out quickly. No, the pain was...lifeless. Darkness, _Realization._

She had never been the hero of this story. They wouldn’t allow it. They didn’t want heroics, they just wanted her life. To consume it, lick it off of her lips, croon their sweet pleading love in her ear, call her queen, mother, savior. 

_Maiden, Mother, Crone._ Those were their feminine Gods, right? Corrupt the Maiden, degrade the Mother and Kill the crone. That’s what they’d done to her. Taken her divinity and spit it back in her face, the corrosive acid burning her away. 

She burned them, but they burned her first. _Burned...burned...burned._ She never stopped burning. She’d been on fire her whole life, spent her years as Queen trying to escape its covetous clutches, named herself anything besides an explosion. 

And he called her Dany. 

_Dany._

Daenerys. 

Daenerys Targaryen. Daenerys Stormborn. Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, first of her name. Khaleesi. Mhysa. Breaker of Chains. Mother of Dragons. Queen. Daenerys...Dany. A child. A girl. 

So much life to give, and it had never been enough. 

_Mad._

That was what they called her. 

At the end, that’s all they’d ever seen. 

Jon’s dark eyes were wide with horror. Wide, fearful…still so beautiful, and kind, with so much love to give… 

And life. Life, that he had stolen from her. Stolen from her children, from her bear, from her Unsullied and Dothraki, from Missandei, from Varys, from the Night King. 

She thinks...she thinks she understands monsters now. Those creatures called white walkers. Monsters they were called, but they’d had the life stolen from them too. Ripped out from greedy hands, hands that could not protect themselves and so they took and took, and...and...stole. Thief. Murderer. Kin-slayer. Betrayer. 

They needed her. They needed her fire. Her children. Her soldiers. Her care. Her love, her life. They needed it all, and they took it. 

And left her none. Left her...empty. In the end...not even a spark. Not even...ash. Not even a remnant. 

Just...nothing. 

And Jon… Sweet Jon. Soft Jon. Good Jon. Jon with the good intentions. Jon with the powerful morals. Jon who thought himself as neither wolf nor dragon. King Jon. Her Nephew Jon. Her lover Jon. Her Killer Jon. 

Her human life had only ever been one tragedy after another. Perhaps her madness was believing her story could have a happy ending. 

Fire didn’t have a happy ending. It either died out from lack of sustenance or it was snuffed out by those too ungrateful to appreciate its heat. Appreciate its... _warmth._

She had been warm once. 

She was on fire, always, but that fire had been warm. Now it was...it was…

She couldn’t think of the word. There was fire but no warmth. No warmth...just…

“What did you do to yourself?” Her Jon sounded horrified. Frightened. He looked at her with more fear than he’d looked at the King of Ice. She thought, maybe, it was her face. The scales, rough skin, and horns. How one of her eyes was soft, eyelashes still white blonde and curling and sweet, and the other was dark, draconic, inhuman. 

Or maybe it was the wings. They were not as large as Drogons, but they were just as dark. Just as powerful. She was a winged shadow now too. 

No, it wasn’t the wings. It wasn’t her face. It must be the fire. She’d come back to life burning, and she hadn’t stopped. Dark blue fire coated her arms, rested, and licked at her ankles. Smoke sometimes curled out of the corner of her mouth, though she’d never breathed fire.

It’s the fire, she was certain now. The way his eyes watched it, waited for it to consume him. Perhaps it was the death he’d always expected. To burn, either from the ice or the heat. Perhaps he even believed it to be his destiny. 

If she didn’t get her destiny, he would not have his either. 

“Daenerys,” He whispered, crawling backward when she took a step closer. “Please, this isn’t you. How is this you?” She cocked her head to the side, listened to Drogon release a deafening screech from the sky, and opened her mouth, and delivered a responding screech of her own. They communicated so much better now that she carried a piece of him. 

He was the only one to give to her. 

And those who took would be punished. 

Starting with her sweet Jon. 

She opened her mouth, and then closed it, her lips trembling. She hadn’t spoken human words since returning. She hadn’t needed to. She swallowed heavily, giving a small hiss as she tried to speak. “Th remembers,” her words were strange, foreign, didn’t come outright. It was clear by the look on his face he was confused. 

“I-i don’t understand,” He stuttered uncertainly. She wet her lips and tried again. 

“T-the North Remembers,” She spoke, words clearer this time. Recognition shined in his eyes. “Winter is coming. The Darkness comes. That’s what you told me,” 

“A...aye,” He agreed slowly. 

“Am I a monster? Like the darkness?” She voiced aloud, voice soft and curious. 

Jon watched her carefully, his eyes still filled with fear. “I don’t know,” He murmured quietly. Her eyes snapped to meet his. 

“The north remembers. Winter comes. One tragedy after another. Fire burns...ice freezes. Ice and Fire...ice and fire...ice…” She narrowed her eyes on him, refocusing her thoughts. “Stars Fall. Valyria burns. Winter comes. And me...and I...there was nothing left to give,” 

He watched her, lips parted, eyes staring, unable to move from her face. She frowned softly, reaching out a hand towards his face, flinching, and then letting it drop back down to her side. 

“I understand,” She said finally, glancing back up at Drogon flying above for a moment, before snapping her gaze back to him. “Fire and Blood, Jon. My Jon. My dreams come true. I was never meant to save the world,” She knelt down beside him, placing her soft, human hand upon his shoulder. 

“I was meant to destroy it.” Jon only had a moment for his dark eyes to widen in fear, his shoulders to tighten and hunch, before her long, dark claws impaled his throat. His dark, lovely eyes lost their life too quickly. Dark red blood seeped and oozed around her claws, and began to pour as she removed her claws from his flesh. She gripped the back of his head with her human hand, laying him down softly on the ground as he had done for her. 

Tears dripped from her eyes, crystallizing in the air and breaking as they landed on his face. She traced a claw down his cheek, memorizing the lovely, kind, good...the pain, the hurt, the human. 

“I wanted...to give life. I wanted to be good,” She whispered into his ear, smoothing his hair back from his forehead. She pressed a kiss to his temple and stood, flapping her dark wings and taking off into the sky to fly beside her child. 

_Fire and Blood._ Those were her words, after all. 

She’d never had a choice. They took and took…

_And it’s all they left her with._

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Hope you enjoyed! :)
> 
> Readers: THanks! I hate it! 
> 
> Me: Yeah...I know...
> 
> Lol okay, so, yeah... This came from watching too much tiktok, and really wanting a Daenerys Cosplayer to use the song 'you broke me first' for a Daenerys scene confronting Jon after he killed her. As far as I'm aware it doesn't exist...and I WANT IT. Feel free to spam Daenerys cosplayers on Tiktok with this.


End file.
